Welcome to Liuxingyu's Greenery Land.

Monday, July 11, 2005

after a very hectic, terrible and horrible weekend at home, its school days again. though i feel very sian at the thought of having to deal with academic difficulty during lessons, the thought of not being at home with someone in there overrules all other stuff. you hit me, you should be thankful i am dark and the bruises doesnt show. but the pain there due to the blue-black and the scars on me will be a constant reminder of what you had done to me.

school life definitely makes me feel better as i get to see all the people who care and talking to them perks up my mood a lot. i also went shopping with yunli @ J8 for all the ppl's present and though i was very tired after everything, i feel happier emotionally. thanks yunli for being with me and sorry for not answering your call or replying your sms-es on saturday, think you understand why. i'm real sorry for worrying you all and i'm really grateful for all the care, concern and encouragements given to me today at school that makes me feel loved(thanks to yunli, liting, wanxin, hailing, zhixuan, georgia, shell, beng and ningfei). i'll try my best to survive through this ordeal, i'll work towards the goal of being independent from him totally as soon as i can. i'm waiting for him to officially chase me out of the house so that i can go live in hostel and study in peace. if he doesnt, i'll stay away from "home" for as long as i can everyday, staying back in school to mug or do homework. after which i'll give my best for a's, finish my a's, go work 7-11 until uni starts and strive for the moe scholarship to go china study for 4 years and i dont have to face him at all. as for what happens after that i couldnt really be bothered, it all depends on him, he is the rate determining person/limiting factor, not me.

this may sound unfilial, cruel, harsh, unfeeling and etc.. but i can only say, i've suffered under his oppression and totalitarian rule silently for long enough, there's a limit to one's tolerance and i'm reaching mine pretty soon. unless he changes, the tension and ugliness in our r/s will become permanent.. haha.. i'm just like 《茶馆》里的康顺子罢。。。已经慢慢地学会反抗了。。。哈哈哈。

9:50 PM