Holidays really fly past me this time round, it is only 2 weeks left to the start of my last semester and there are still so so so many things which I need/want/have to do!!! OMG OMG OMG. I genuinely do not want this holidays to end! :( I sincerely feel like I have not been doing much or rested well then it is back to hectic school life again! Oh man, this is the 1st time I have felt so deeply about the sentence: Time waits for no man... I am just OVERWHELMED.

It is sad to think that I will be graduating after one last semester in NUS. Time sure flies! Even though I have been through so much for the past few years, I do not really have much to remember them by other than photos. Maybe I am just trying to ask for too much, but I guess I just want to remove the little regret I had felt on my 21st.

I shall do an autograph book for myself upon graduation to remember the 4 years by. It is definitely old school, but it is something which I will treasure for the rest of my life! Something which I want badly also, don't ask me why. :p And of course, I will try my utmost best to do it for all my blessings in university too! It is so so so going to be an immense project. But nothing is impossible so long as the heart is set on it!

It has been sometime since I last volunteered outside university. And I am glad I went ahead with my heart that time to submit my request for helping out with the Esplanade Youths. I along with 5 other passionate youths went to a before and after school care in AMK to get kids to write their hopes and wishes on the spheres for Marina Countdown this year. I always find it a pleasure to work with kids.

Coming into contact with kids nowadays let me understand what the society expects of the future generation, and also showed me how technology and video gamings are very apart of children's life. Pri 1 and 2 guys have Facebook accounts and play Pet Society, I am amazed. Have no idea if such things are good or bad for the children but I guess this is just how our society has progressed with technological advancements at breakneck speed.

I also got a 1st-hand experience of having to handle mischievious boys, breaking up little fights and vulgarity scolding incidences. I must say once again I am amazed at the strength they have plus the vocabulary of vulgarities they actually know and use without even thinking for a second at each other. Wow, these can be kids which I will teach when I go into teaching next time. LOL. I will have to find a way about managing them in classrooms or I will just go crazy. Haha. BUT when they look at you with their innocent eyes, and smile with you so happily, I just melted. Cannot wait for Thursday when I will be going to another place!!! :p

Was in town so decided to drop my phone at Nokia Care Center for repair, if not it'll take me a week at Woodlands. *faint* So now, I am using a rather old school phone (no camera, just the basic essentials) with no contacts at all. I must admit it is super inconvenient with a phone but no contacts, who can I call now? Who can I sms with no numbers?? Sian. And somemore I will be running around having gatherings, outings, meetups, tuition... Lucky there is still the awesome thing called Internet. Oh well, my phone better be great after spending at least 3 days away from my rough usage. I am feeling the over-reliance of our lives on technological gadgets... What if one day they all just spoil? Will people go crazy? I wonder.

Just watched Couples Retreat today with my fav log-gers. I must say I really enjoyed the show and the way issues which married couples in modern society faces these days are portrayed. It covered quite a bit of different relationship styles, scripting in 4 different couples with different problems inside. Nothing fantastic, but loved it nevertheless, especially the happily ever after ending where all the couples resolved their problems and become happily in love again. Sad to say such things seldom happen in real life, if not we won't have so many divorce cases right?

家中公婆之吵再一次搬演。一个很没有安全感的人，一个非不得已才去的避风港。对于男女之间的关系，百分之百没有信心，千万分的恐惧。或许应该干脆步入佛门，把这些世俗红尘抛出脑外。因为觉得自己不值得别人来爱，所以就不会找到爱自己的人。继续纠缠下去又是何苦呢？

I have been accused of many charges... many of which I have no defences against but to admit... I am not able to defend alot of things which I have done, am doing, or going to do... It serves me right to be faced with all the accusations!!! I can only plead guilty and face the punishments which I well deserve... I am a lousy daughter, a bad sister, and an incorrigible family member...

The engines have officially started and the journey embarked upon. How long it will be, how far we will go, how hard it will be, I have not the least idea. But I am mentally prepared to face whatever it takes, and I am heartened by the team I have managed to rope in. The initial phase will not be easy as foundations need to be set properly. Que sera sera. (:

Friends can drift apart and become strangers over time... Strangers can suddenly become friends because of an opportunity that arises... Perhaps this is what makes life interesting, challenging and exciting? LOL...

Trust is a risk, one we will always have to take in life. Trust in some people may be broken at some times, and then those people who are hurt vowed never to trust those people again. But there are times in life, you have to trust those who betrayed your trust before, as you have no other way out.

Life is about balance, trying to attain the most wanted equilibrium everytime for everything. So when someone give you something, there is a likelihood that you will reciprocate. However, nothing, not a single thing in this whole world is necessarily reciprocal. You name it: trust, love, friendship, favours, kinship, relationship, blah blah blah. Thus in the end you just have to heck that bloody balance thing and go with your heart, mind, and conscience. (:

This semester feels like forever, because it seems like so long ago when I was still in Beijing for my exchange, when indeed it has only been around 4 months. I guess it was the enormous amount of work rushed and completed during the semester, so much so everything seemed like a blur of madness. And sure I am glad it is finally over, because next semester shall be my last and I am going to make sure I do not waste it on things I should not be.

The last time to go for lectures and tutorials of modules which may not have anything to do with your career prospects but just being chosen for interest sake. The last time to do crazy things in school without being looked upon with much contempt. The last time to hang around in school and not do much other than chit chat and catch up over meals. The last time to seat around at your favourite schools and watch the whole world pass you by.

I am not saying that the above-mentioned cannot be done once you graduate and start working. But how much and how often can you get to do them when you start on your career, when you take up responsibilities in life, when you continue to move on to the next part of your life journey... You can only be young and carefree once. Even now I am starting to feel the pressure of spending money on self-enjoyment when I think about my parents slogging hard.

Life is never perfect, good things seldom last forever, you just cannot have everything you want in life, much less the way you hope for it to be. It is just the painful process of growing up, same as when you realised all the fairytale stories of happily-ever-after endings do not happen naturally or easily. I am a rather practical and paranoidal person, bread over love and worrying about the future etc. But at the same time, I never want to lose the person who is easily tickled by the simple little things in life. Money and meaning, both are strong motivations for myself, but I guess the former is starting to mean more as graduation days near and I start thinking about supporting my grandparents, parents and siblings. Oh well, LLST. (:

Even though my 1st and last paper is tomorrow, I do not really feel the sian-ness of having to study the same one module for weeks. I can take my time and do up my notes. I can slowly digest and think through what the teacher mentioned in class. I can even have time to do research to understand more of the concepts taught. It is just so enjoyable, especially since the things I am revising are really interesting. :)

After taking this module, I have a clearer view of the mistakes I made in the past while in leadership position. Of course it is not an absolute total enlightenment, there are still certain things which cannot be explained. And needless to say, it doesnt make me a perfect leader after taking this module about management. But I am definitely trying my best to learn as much as possible, apply as often as possible the knowledge learnt, nobody's perfect anyway. ;)

I believe in karma, so meaning what comes around goes around. And thus I pretty much see life as a cycle also. All the natural cycles that seem to go on without fail, like life and death?

It happens in our life journey also. Remember how when we were just born, we cannot feed, clean and move about on our own? We have to rely on our parents to do all of it, without failing.

But once parents come to a time when they cannot feed, clean or move about by themselves, why does it become so hard to do all of it for them without failing or pushing it around?

It is just saddening to see elderly being left to fend for themselves just because their children are too busy with work or other commitments. I will constantly remind myself so that it doesnt happen to my parents.

Trust on the parents side towards their children, it is a risk they have to take no matter what. Not much of a choice to speak of actually. Sometimes, people get lucky with karma; other times, people just have to suck it up right?