haha, after so many months of hardwork with weekends spent on replying to students' letters and marking their work, i finally have time to live my life. last weekend went out with both 1/8 students and my 4/4 classmates. the outing with 1/8 students was most tiring and exhausting, towwards e end i was like yawning away due to over-exhaustion earlier walking ard w them and taking neoprints with them. haha, but to conclude, i reali enjoy myself a lot for that outing. althou during the process i got boys that keep playing with my hair until i can say at least 50 strands of hair bid my scalp sayonara, so pain la! one minute of silence for all my dead hairs!!! :p
the neoprint taking was a long and arduous process as the kids keep requesting that e arrangement be diff for every pic!!! so in e end, e photos were all taken in a frenzy as the kids fight and squeeze for their beautiful/handsome face to be on every pic. when e whole thing ended, it felt lk all of us had just done a very hiong workout. :p e students were so sweet and cute!!! althou a lot of calories was burnt during that outing, and i feel so drenched out and tired, it was all worth it as both me and e students reali enjoyed ourselves very much! when it has come for both me and yunli(ms pan) to leave as we have our sec4 class gathering, e sadness in their eyes were visible.. couldn't bear for us to leave.. haiz.. most of them even promised tt they'll work hard for chinese.. they'll try and improve.. they'll try and get high marks.. those promises really touched my heart.. althou i know some of them will just say and forget(kids being kids..) but it still struck a chord in my heart.. i'll def miss teaching them.. despite all e screamings and shoutings and scoldings.. they're a class who is very cute and which i'll rmb 4eva de. i din cry during my last lesson w them cos i know they'll also cry if i do so.. i dowan to see them sad.. i dowan to see any of my students sad.. i dowan to see any of them cry cos i'll def cry twice as much.. 1/8, must improve! both in terms of results and behavior! hope u all become a NT class tt e sch is proud to have! :)
lastly, my sec4 sch gathering. nth much actually la, we just went to swensons to eat. my 1st time eating earthquake after dreaming for yrs to eat it!!! keep talking and talking as we catch up on each other. then went to take neoprints again, this time was beta as we're all grown up liaoz so wont become chaotic in e machine. :p we squeezed 17 of us in e neoprint machine ok?! haha, an almost impossible quest right? ;) e taking part was qt sian as too many of us so cant change position much but e decor part was more fun as we put cute icons to sabo some ppl~ heez. *smiles with an evil glint in eye* after which we just walked to an open space to play polar bear, haha, thou qt lame but turn out to be fun too~! den when it was ard ten some of us left as it was qt late and for both me n yunli, our batteries were running dangerously low after e outing with 1/8. haha, in conclusion, i had a great weekend!!! :D
1:44 PM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
before i want to say anything, need to tell 1/5 students: stop tagging so obviously la!!! next time shan't tell you all ath liaoz. haha, and flooding my tagboard def made me regret my decision in telling you all my blog add. :p know u all very excited but keep e excitement down la ok? l8r scare other ppl also reading my blog de.
my last day of teaching went on.. as per usual.. i was so afraid that i'll cry lk mad.. thank goodness i din. but it was also because i try to steer away from e topic that i din manage to say a lot of things to my students which i really regret now.. my days of teaching has been very very very much enriching.. i'll nvr in my life forget e times i spent in anderson as a relief tchr. and i'll def not forget any of my students de! no matter how bad or naughty they've been.. because they were once my student and they've at least handed up a piece of work/spoken a sentence to me/greeted me. ;) no matter what they'd done, they're all part of my wonderful and beautiful experience at anderson as a relief tchr and i want to thank every single one of my student for that. actually i have a lot a lot a lot to say but i duno where to start so shall jus leave it out and spare everyone from an ultra super duper long entry ba, heez. :p
if u'd given in a lot, it'll be harder to pull urself away.. it has been lidat for huang cheng.. it is again lidat for my relief teaching job in anderson.. after huang cheng got phd(post-huangcheng depression) and now i think i'll have ptd(post-teaching depression) liaoz.. after looking through all e notes and presents my students gave me.. my tears just came non-stop.. e feeling is mutual.. i'll also miss all my students a lot.. i'll be very sad for a period of time.. i've told u all to let go but in e end i'm having e greatest difficulty in letting go.. i've experienced this type of scenarios a lot of times.. 1st time when i was in sec4 for st.john rod.. i've given in so much to care and love my jnrs.. when time has come for me to leave my heart feels like it is breaking up into many pieces.. 2nd and 3rd time was when i was in jc during huang cheng ye yun.. i've given in so much to e production.. made so much great friends, jnrs and snrs that i was really sad when time has come for us to part and for e drama to end.. now is my end of relief teaching.. i've given in so much to my students.. even those that i've nvr taught them before.. it is still hard for me to let go after so much experiences.. really hard.. and one reason why i'm very sad is that my students will def move on faster than me.. they're still young.. they still haven't really seen much of the world to really treasure many things.. it has been lidat w my st.john jnrs.. it'll be lidat w my students i'm sure.. those reading dun object, it is a fact.. a few years down some of u will def forget me.. a few weeks l8r u all will def be able to move on and start sch as per usual.. a new tchr comes and u all will adapt to him/her and learn from him/her jus lk u all did from me.. e sadness and unwillingness will jus fade away.. that is life.. i've learnt it and am trying hard to live with it.. that is life..
despite all, i'm glad that i've such a great experience at anderson which would not have been possible if e tchrs there arn't as great, cool, friendly and caring as they're. i'll miss everyone a lot.. i'll try to go back and visit whenever i can de!!! next week will still have to go back to settle and mark all my stuff liaoz.. so for now, goodbye~ everyone enjoy ur hols!!! :) do ask me out to have fun~! :p
10:43 AM
Saturday, May 06, 2006
shall do a very long entry on my relief tchr life for this past 4 mths, those not interested i'm pretty sry but nd to say it out if not i'll burst, hav been keeping it for a long time liao ma, 4 mths leh, lohz. heez. :P jus one more thing, below are solely my own personal opinion, if there is any mistakes or biasness do pardon cos i'm human after all. ;)
RT=permanent tchr i dunno about other relief tchrs at other schs la, but basically tt is wat i feel lk being a relief tchr in anderson. taking classes, having remedial lessons, going for meetings, setting exam papers, setting worksheets, printing notes, planning lessons blah blah blah. i'm seriously thankful to e fact tt i din go and take up another part-time job other den my relief teaching cos i wld not hav e time and energy to deal w another job! i practically almost stay in school for at least 10 hrs everyday. i duno why i always stay back so late, mayb cos i mark things slower which is reasonable as i'm still new at teaching. or mayb cos i do too many additional things w my classes which means extra work for me. other than teaching, there're many other event and stuff tt we relief tchrs do. basically, we're lk permanent tchrs, except tt we're not trained, we're not tt well-paid, and one thing which i'm grateful for, we're not req'd to do a lot of admin stuff.
RT=free labour this again i duno about RT at other schs, but wheneva e sch nds help or some tchrs nd help, they'll turn to e relief tchrs. i have to clarify, i'm not complaining. i'm willing to help out, esp tchrs. when i see how much they go thru everyday and how hard it has been on them as tchrs, i'm willing to help them in anyway when they ask me. althou there're times when some tchrs are a bit over, or asking u to help when they can do it themselves, i'm still happy to help as i know they'll help me too. there're also times when ur help is not appreciated but i'm ok w it cos i'm happy myself. i'm also happy to help as e tchrs there have been real great and supportive to me, i feel at home in sch, thus i'm willing to help when they ask me to. for e sch, there're so many extra events tt we'll be asked to help out. for eg recently, everyone has to prepare for e upcoming big SPEECH DAY tt'll take place next thursday. both me and yunli were put in charge of e backdrop tgt w another chi tchr, and specifically e sch logo. we were asked to paint e sch logo! now do i nd to say again, my art has always been real bad. but i'm thankful tt i was once in daoju back at huangcheng(daoju rox!) as i was den able to use e skills and techniques learnt back at daoju for e paintin of e sch logo. e end pdt amazed both me and yunli as we thot it wld lk ugly but it turned out otherwise from afar!!! it looks so so so nice!!! oh man, at e moment i feel a super great sense of achievement! even thou my shoulders ache from all e painting, it was worth it. even after e sch logo was done, there's still e rest of e backdrop left which we'll hav to complete on monday liaoz. haha, shall ask some of my great 1-students to help out. den there is this fund-raising activity in sch where i've spent nearly $50 on ba, buying concert tickets.. buying cookies.. buying keychains.. haha, think e money i earn will jus go back to e sch and e students unknowingly liaoz. but its still ok cos i'm happy~
RT=maid haha, actualli i think it applies to tchrs in general la. we're lk slaves to our students in e sense tt we do wateva we can to satisfy their learning needs, we mark their work meticulously, we try and think of things from their perspectives to make their learning fun and enjoyable etc. but it doesnt come back, e students take u for granted den u'll feel so idiotic. haha, but i guess its lidat de ba. so i've learnt to jus do my part to my fullest w/o bothering whether it comes ard anot. i've also learnt tt sometimes reasoning w students is useless, talking reason to them is a waste of time cos they dun understand! scolding does help but it tires urself out physically and mentally so no point. haha, i guess from now i'll jus use rewards and treats to "cheat" e students into doing wateva i want them to do nicely ba. haha. so sad leh? sometimes i give up asking them to do so i can spend afternoons helping them paste their papaers properly in books or helping them file their stuff. haha, den hoh jus ytd, i got a student who asked me to help him buy electronic dictionary cos he said he "went home" liaoz. asked me to pay for him etc, i feel lk i was his maid at tt time so can aga aga guess his tone and e way he asked la. it turned out he din go home, he was outside w friends to buy new spectacles. diaognz. i've to say again i'm not complaining althou i sound lk i do, i enjoy doing those chores too, for students who're good la. for those who're not, i'll jus count it as my bad luck lohz. i also carry e books up and down myself, thank goodness for my daoju training once again, haha.
haha, despite all, i still enjoy my relief tching times. i admit tt i'll complain a lot to a lot of ppl, but after eth when i ask myself if i want to b a tchr, e ans is still yes. i duno why, i find it crazy after wat i see at anderson w all e permanent tchrs. all e things they've to do and handle, i dun detest teaching as my career. weird but i duno why, i jus long for e satisfaction and happiness tt i can only get from teaching. i may b furiously mad at some students but after they did wat they've done, i'll be gd to them again. even thou there're some classes tt i feel very helpless at, i'll still do all i can to teach them, doing a lot of extra work despite all. now i can easily laugh and smile when my students are ard, esp 1/5 students. they're really my emotion controllers. now, only a few weeks left w them.. i duno how to deal w it when e time comes.. i've given in so much.. i've become so attached.. i duno how to pull myself out.. i duno if i can pull myself out.. i know i've to as i still got to complete uni education.. i reali duno.. i hope i dun cry thou i doubt it.. jus hope my last few wks will b filled w nice and sweet memories ba. :)
10:37 AM
went for this test last wkend but din hav time to blog bout it til now. i've to say its a real long test tt lasted for ard 4 hrs and i was totally drenched out after e whole thing ended lohz. haha, all in all there were 4 diff sections to this whole test thingy. e 1st 3 sessions got time limit so hav to rush thru like hell if not cant finish every single qn de, super stress sia~ e 1st test was some puzzle thingy, guess they're trying to use it to test if u can think and reason logically ba. i finished tt test jus in time, phew. e 2nd test was some maths test tt really got me dumbfounded, some qns seem so complicated and long tt i merely guessed e answer. i doubt i'll get those ti-cum answers right as they have options a-k i think. siao hoh? haha, if i got those qn correct only means tt i'm super duper lucky liaoz lohz. tt one i also barely managed to complete w every qns answered, double phew. den comes e 3rd timed test, which is bout some report comprehension thingy i think. they give you reports and den some statements which u're supposed to figure out if they're right, wrong or u can't tell based on e report. throughout e whole of this report, i've to keep telling myself to keep to e report and not think or infer from my general knowledge. my guess is tt they're testing if u can infer from reports correctly and stick strictly to what was given and not refer back to what u know urself as it may not always be right. qt interesting iseneh? :P
lastly, finally one section tt u can take ur time w/o having to rush lk mad. this session was to gauge ur personality and health status. there were like nearly 200 qns to this section, can die from answering questions lohz, haha. actually its good to do such tests la, i get to know myself more while i'm gg thru e personality tests. one good thing out of this test, haha. now, as to whether i get e scholarship, e overseas teaching scholarship at china, depends on my fate liao. i know this sounds passive but what else can i do man? seriously, i believe strongly in tian1 shi2, di4 li4, ren2 he2. if i do get e scholarship, i can stop worrying bout my future. but if i dun get, i'll have to start worrying about which tetiary education institution i will go aka nus or ntu.. have to start worrying about how to pay for all e fees tt isnt a small sum.. and lastly also have to start worrying bout wat i shld do after graduation.. lk wat my mum says, i can only pray and leave it to my god's hands liaoz. wateva comes my way, i'll deak w it. hope all goes well, but most things dun for me so i'm ok too if things dun go my way lohz. suan le suan le.. haha..
10:19 AM
Yours Truly
A little girl
learning to live in a big big world
and trying not to give up things she believes in despite everything
