Thursday, September 29, 2005
haha.. today got back gp paper 1 & 2.. i really have no face to go look up my gp tutor personally anymore le.. i will just be wasting her time.. she can spend the time on someone who will definitely improve and do well in a-levels like alvin low.. but definitely not me.. i wont be able to make the grade de.. after this prelim.. i am 100% confident of this fact.. whatever hope i have earlier were just disillusions.. dreams.. wistful thinking.. i would not be able to get my a-level certificate le.. haha.. i do not have to study for a-levels anymore because i will just fail GP and my other subjects will be equivalent to going down the drain! haha.. why do i have to have expectations of my GP results for this prelim and be dropped off from there so hard..? haha.. stupid me.. i should not have thought that i will really improve in GP.. it is impossible.. i am just daydreaming.. it feels so terrible.. i dont want to have contact with anyone now.. not for days.. not my classmates.. not my friends.. not my room mates.. not my juniors.. i just want to be alone.. haha.. but the irony is that i can never be alone.. there is no place where i can be totally alone to myself to do whatever i want.. i am defeated.. thoroughly.. no more hope.. no more fighting spirit.. no more looking forward.. no more.. nothing left.. haha..
4:31 AM
