Wednesday, October 12, 2005
i'm going to indulge in depression and nonsensical ramblings again.. so sorry.. i need to type out what i feel.. i have no other outlets ya? haha.. i have no idea what i am really feeling now actually.. just got this strong urge to let my tear glands secrete as much as they want.. i guess i am back in my abyss of depression after climbing out? now.. not even being with those people that i usually long to be with can stir up any interests or happiness in me.. i feel like becoming a hermit crab and hide inside a shell so that i dont need to see anyone, hear anyone, talk to anyone.. i feel so lethargic all of a sudden.. i suddenly hope that i can just fall asleep one fine day and never have to wake up again after that.. i suddenly feel like going to kai1 sheng1 like i used to in the 1st 3 months.. shout until i lost my voice so that i dont have to talk.. i suddenly feel like going to a discrete corner and crying my heart out.. i can still laugh and talk and act crazy like i used to.. but why doesnt i feel happy..??? why why why.. i have no idea..
5:07 AM
