Tomorrow… tomorrow school reopens… my students will start school… they will be having new Chinese teachers… they will be having better and more experienced teachers teaching them Chinese… despite telling myself umpteen times to let go… that my life as a relief teacher has come to an end and I should gladly move on… I could not help but feel sad and terrible… I guess it is happening once more ya? You’ve given in so much for so long and now suddenly you’re required to let it go once and for all… it will be difficult… it has always been difficult and tough for me… I need time… I need to convince myself a lot… I need ample self-talk… I know that I can do it in the end… because I’ve already done so for a few times in the past successfully! Hahaha… it hurts even more because I know very well that as time passes some students will not be able to remember that such a teacher (Ms. Tan) exists… even if they do remember… the memory will be vague… haha… I’ve been a student before… I’ve had relief teachers before… I know exactly how it is like… I know it is inevitable… I know I should learn to accept the fact… but still it will be hard… I will be able to do it… I just need time that is all…
10:00 AM
Yours Truly
A little girl
learning to live in a big big world
and trying not to give up things she believes in despite everything
