Now, I have learnt what it means when you feel traumatized. The event that spooked or shocked you so much that even after a period of time passes it still stays vividly in your mind... Playing in slow motion whenever you are not the least prepared for it to do so, catching you by surprise and making you feel even more terrible… The incident that taught me the lesson “How it feels to be traumatized” happened on the day of ROD for Anderson St.John Ambulance Brigade. When the parade had started and all the relevant contingents were already in place, all the cadets in senang diri position waiting for the longest part of the ceremony(senior passing down to junior) to end, it happened. I cannot believe how clearly I actually am able to recall what happened on that day… I was helping my dear juniors to take photos of the whole process for memorial purposes when I happen to see one secondary one cadet, Yee Keat. I thought he was going to squat down as that was what they were told to do when they were not feeling well during the parade. Thus with my eyes on him, I quickly walked towards him thinking of helping him out of the squad to take a rest under the shade away from the hot sun. But it did not turn out the way I thought, instead of squatting down all the way, he fell straight on his face onto the floor with a loud “thump”… I remembered myself cursing “shit!” under my breath as I broke into a run towards him… I will never ever forget the look on his face when me and my “son” Le Jun turned him over… My heart skipped a beat when I saw him… I have to admit I was very afraid… I was afraid that something serious has happened to him… I was constantly blaming myself for not running straight to him when I detected that he was not feeling well… I was very shaken… I was amazed at myself that I did not break down at that point of time… That guy is ok now, after a few stitches on his lower chin where there was a deep gash from the fall. I guess I was not the only one traumatized by his fall… Just hope that I would not have to face any such incidents ever again… Even if history was to repeat itself, at least by then I would have the experience and knowledge of how to handle already so it would not be that bad… So if I were to say I am suffering from nightmares, you all will know what I dreamt of… I am just glad everything’s ok now…
3:12 PM
Yours Truly
A little girl
learning to live in a big big world
and trying not to give up things she believes in despite everything
