Just when I thought all my bad luck has been fully utilised, I hurt myself yet again. haiz.. this time the injury was worse, deeper and more painful... Happy new year-ly, I have to hurt myself on the hand that I use more, right hand... diaognz... somemore miss yet again another research programme!!! why am I so forgetful!!! haiz... nothing to say liao la, guess I am getting immuned? Yesterday after all the incidences, I guess my mental state could not take it anymore and have to vent it all out. I've been storing too much in me so end up when venting out it took me a long time and even twice, as once proved to be not enough. it feels better after letting it all out... so I am better now already!haha, though hand still hurts whenever I try going around in my daily routine, it is bearable. so dear students of mine do not worry for me ok? laoshi will be strong! haha, seeing all your tags is just like eating energy/motivation pills, pushing me on no matter what I foresee will happen!!! I am very touched over all your concern, really really really. I miss my days of relief teaching... hahaha... you all take care & study hard ok? (:

argh.. fell down twice in front at rather crowded places ytd.. once was jus slip but e other was harder and i hurt my little end toe as a result.. looks ugly and hurts qt a bit when i walk, but it's ok cos my mobility is not e least affected! yea~ also bit my lip while eating dinner ytd.. really unlucky like mad.. i guess i should not rush rush rush cos in e end i will not only cui cui cui but also pain pain pain. :P

i guess whatever i say means nothing... whatever i have brought up fell on deaf ears... what is e use, really, what is e use of doing so much and giving in so much when u cant even get ur fellow comrades' cooperation? simple things that doesnt take much time and effort cannot be done... things that only require heart to do so, not even much but only a little, but cant even be done... i jus feel sad, not for myself, but for the situation that i am in right now... i think i shld give up having much hope on e ppl ard me, that way i think i will have less disappointments to deal with...

i guess what serene said is true, when one gets too tired, he/she will start losing things or misplacing things.. i'm starting to feel tired already.. i slp during lectures, on bus rides & almost anywhere so long as i can get a seat outside when there's nothing physical for me to do. then end up my concentration is decreasing.. 1st is the lost of my money pouch with quite a bit of money and ez-link card inside (i have to cut down on my spending liao...), 2nd is forgetting to take my hostel key, 3rd is misplacing my matric card where i almost died from anxiety... i shall not go home and stay in hall to take a good rest this weekend to regain my energy. yawnz...

I finally see some light at the end of the tunnel, thank you for igniting the candle of hope for me. Your words were so reassuring and motivating.. Thanks for having the trust in me & thanks for being my friend. ^-^v

i am not a maid.. it doesnt belong to jus me.. is it tt hard to tk up initiative? do u all treat e place as ur own? do u all care how messy or untidy it has become? i clean up not bcos i am a servant to e place, i dun believe it is my responsibility either. if u all have no pride, how to expect ppl to respect us? a simple thing as to putting things back to where u take it also very hard? things lie ard.. floor becomes rubbish bin.. win already loh... happy new yr... i'm jus complaining, grrr...

Being judged by what i've done and what i've said...
A death sentence has been passed on me...
Can i turn over e situation? Can i make changes?
i really must learn to fight for myself already... i shall not give up even when i'm pronounced dead... strive for what i believe in...

What is my feeling now about school reopening? weird to say but i actually dun feel ath. to me it is just going to school for more purposes, it is jus being able to see more people ard in sch, it is just a signal that all reasons to even slack a bit is already gone. what's more happening is that i have managed to move in to my room in KE7~! ahahaha, really very tiring and my roomie is nice so i am fortunate once again! ahaha, yea man, i think i'll enjoy my hall days!!! hahaha. was not very happy earlier on in e day, i must apologise, i'm not angry at anyone. no one angered me. i think i jus getting emo for no reason ba. haha. i'm gg mad? duno also. school has started, bah.. all e best to everyone for this upcoming sem, may we all pull thru it nicely~!!! (:

我真的好累。。。好好好好好累！！！我好想休息，好想睡个长觉，好想就一睡不醒，与世长辞算了。我快要疯了，我再也受不了了。。我已经尝试过了，我已经坚强过了，我已经成长够了，我已经不想再继续下去了。。。我真的真的好累。。。我好想好想逃避。。。我好想好想什么都不做，什么都不想。。。我累了。。。真的累了。。。眼泪已经不能像以前那么容易控制，它越来越不听话了。。。我快崩溃了。。。我可以放弃吗？为何以前说得那么好听？为什么当初答应得那么容易而现在又没有兑现自己许下的承诺？我觉得好孤独，好颓丧，好辛苦，好伤心，好难过，好痛苦，好寂寞，好无助，好悲哀，好想死了算了。。。好想回到过去。。。我已经丧失了自己。。这还不够吗？失望是剧毒，你们已经活活地把我推向悬崖的边缘，我快要掉进死亡的深渊。。。有谁能救救我。。。

i think i must be too tired already, so much so that i dun feel e energy to be happy anymore from deep within my heart. yes, i can still b happy and laughing out loud watching hana kimi on youtube but that is it. full stop. i am afraid of e new semester, afraid of all e things that will come once sch starts, afraid of all e commitments i've gotten myself into, afraid of e ugliness in ppl tt i'll have to be forced to face when things started gg ugly or when pressure starts to sink in or when people start thinking for themselves more than for others. i am trying very hard to make myself think positively but it is really hard when it gets very tiring.. even worse when all ur efforts in trying to keep urself going seems fruitless already. i am not a wonder woman, i am not as good as u all think, i am not as capable, i am not e person i portray myself to be.. haha, i hate myself.. e me that i am living as now.. hahaha... crapping due to insufficient slp, pls ignore.

i've been wanting to blog for a long time but my comp at home doesnt allow me to so it has been a long time since i update and a lot of things has been happening. haha, in a good way can say that i've been leading a very fulfilling life ba. ;) but i must say i am very very very tired!!! i want to slp!!! and the problem is that sch is gg to start soon, and there're just too too too much things still left unsettled and disorganised... haiz... i must pick myself up on a good pace if not when sch starts things will only get worse not better.

something exciting to tell: i've gotten a hostel room in NUS finally!!! yea man, i can finally stay in sch w a room on my own, even thou there's a roomie but it's still slightly better den my room at home la. it is at King Edward VII Hall! quite ulu and out of e place but i heard that e environment is peaceful and e rooms are big which is good!!! hahaha, i can dump a lot of things in my room! yea man!!! haha, it is a good thing to stay in sch la, since i doubt that i can even go home on weekends for e nex sem.

things are getting more and more complicating, events are getting more and more demanding, people are getting more and more confusing, tolerance are getting more and more harder to maintain... e upcoming sem doesn't look very optimistic but i will still jia you to pull thru if not worse come to worse u all get to visit me at IMH only loh. hahaha, just joking. every one take care and all e best for whatever u all are doing ok? do stay in touch also~! (: