I am afraid to sleep now.. I do not want to wake up feeling lousy because I should have used the time spent on sleeping on something else that is more important and to be on a higher priority.. I know I am tired.. But I am scared of sleeping.. Not much time left to waste right? I think I am going crazy.

I thought the most hectic days have passed but apparently I thought wrong because the following weeks all the way til the end of exams are proving to be even more hectic, busy and demanding than the past days in Uni I ever have. oh my oh my... so many things to be done yet so so so little time! going on without sleep, minimal sleep or sleeping by lying on table... I think I am doing mass destruction to my brain cells.. so many things happen.. so many thoughts.. so many memories... so many emotions... ponning lectures for the whole week... ups & downs... ins & outs... sadistic to say but I think I will miss these crazy days when it is gone... I shall smile more instead of frown because a lot of people say I always look very stressed up... not good for people around me either... therefore Xin Yu shall try & go on a smiling campaign! :P

haha, i think basically everyone knows of the fact that i am super busy with CCA stuff and school work so it is not anything new when i'm saying it ba? i absolutely don't mind living everyday packed with a lot of different things happening in one day, it really makes my life super duper fulfilling! and another thing is that time flies! without me consciously knowing about it even. but somehow i feel that i've neglected my studies very much as compared to semester one, i think my time management for this semester is worse than last semester, i shall try & rectify this problem before it spirels out of hand.

despite not being able to sleep more than 6 hrs now per day due to a lot of things to do with so little time, i still manage to reflect a bit about whatever i've been doing, about my life in mc, about what i've been doing and what i've been learning... last weekend was a hell lot of a weekend, two rather large-scale arts club project over a short weekend. it was a tough time getting over the 2 projects but once the weekend is over, i think all of us cannot deny that a huge load has been taken off our chests, especially those directly in the organising committee. i did a count, not including FOPs, we're only left with 4 more projects for our mc term.. that is real fast isn't it? to think we started off with 18 & now only 4 left?! time really really flies.. soon it will be time to step down.. i don't like to think about this fact.. i don't like to think that there will be a day soon in the near future whereby things will change a lot.. i've grown too accustomed to my life now & have come to love every single day despite everything... looking forward to going school because of reasons totally not related to academic work... the day will come no matter how much i detest or try to mentally reject it.. what i can do now is to treasure the remaining days left right? i hate departures, really really hate. but i will still learn to accept...

Just some thoughts that keep bugging me these few days.. actually also things that i have thought about a lot of times before even.. there's no right or wrong choice in this world is it not? i mean absolute ones i do not deny, but a lot of times in our life we will be faced with circumstances where we have to make our own decisions on matters. on those occasions, who decides what is the right or wrong choice to make? i mean we would always want to make choices whereby the ideal situation and results will occur, i do not deny that i am like that too. but does ideal situations ever occur? the world is ever-changing, it is so unpredictable, who knows that the next day i may have just left this world altogether? touch wood la, but all this we never know is it not? how will we ever know if the choice we made is right or wrong in the end? does our choices get judged based on results that we see at the very end? it is easy to say that our choices should be what we feel for is correct, but a lot of times it is hard to know what is correct or wrong when you are not the only one having to face the consequences of your decision. haha, i a bit the do not know what i am talking already. but i just feel since we cannot know what is right or wrong because we cannot live through the same thing twice as it is impossible, why not just live with and stick to the decision throughout? would it not be sufficient? haha, i also do not know la, maybe it is sufficient from my personal opinion only. haha, all in all, it is hard to be human, don't you agree? ;)

i just want to say a huge thanks to everyone who keeps encouraging me, cheering me on, giving me confirmation for whatever i've done. i've always had this habit of being super not confident of myself regardless of what i do, this is a bad habit i've been fighting to change but to no avail til now. really thx lots for telling me that i am actually good etc, somehow i feel so easily swayed by all your words. haha, guess once more i've given my heart to yet another group of people already. in e past it was my juniors and students, now it is my fellow mc members and seniors. i'll learn to treat myself better & how to contribute even better to the club. this is what i ran for, i shall stick to what i promised myself & not lost my original self at the end. ^-^