yesterday was a very fulfilling day for me as for the 1st time since i stopped my relief teaching career back in Anderson Sec, i managed to really have the time of the world to go back for a proper visit without having to rush off somewhere. as i overslept, i reached the school late and i think therefore missed almost all but few of my students as it is the examination period whereby everyone rush home to start revision for the next paper rather than hang around in school. i saw some of my express chinese girls when i went to the coffeeshop opposite to eat with one of my collegues Xue Fen whom i met just right after i entered the school's main gate. i don't know how to describe the feeling but it just feels great when you see your students again. it feels as if no time has passed at all, as if they are still back in sec 1 and i am still their chinese teacher. that feeling rocks. haha, another thing is that the homemade noodles from the coffeeshop still taste just as delicious!!! oh man, how i miss the food and those times eating dinner and chatting about students with my collegues after a long day's work. memories are always beautiful i guess.

after that i started teacher-hopping, which actually means going up to teacher after teacher to talk to them and get updates on their life as well as tell them about my life in university now. i don't know why but somehow or rather, even though i can not visit the school for a long time, i still feel at home whenever i do go back. it feels so much comfortable and heart-warming. i shall try my very best to fight for the chance to teach back at Anderson Secondary School after i finish NIE. i feel that it is the place where i really want to be, and even if i may have to suffer more i'll find it worthwhile. the teachers there meant more to me than just teachers and collegues i feel, they are like friends and seniors to me! i would have really loved to go back and do relief teaching but i figured my cca commitments do not allow me to do so.. never mind, it's ok, i'm sure in future there'll be more chances for me to do so.

i love going back for visit because i really loved talking to the teachers. everytime i talk to them, i gain something new. i guess it is sort of like a therapy or something. talking to them makes me think of stuff that never crossed my mind before which is actually quite important, it also makes me find the drive and motivation to continue doing whatever i am involved in now. i must really say that i've been real fortunate to be able to meet such great teachers in my life. really cannot imagine how else i would have turned out if i didn't get to meet them, if i didn't have the blessing to be their students. one thing which i agree with Mr. Ow, a teacher of mine, is that i must make full use of my university days to try out as many things as possible, go do all the things which i will most probably not do once i graduate from university. i made a list down when i was on the mrt back to NUS and i realise there're just so many things i want to do and try out! it made me wonder if i should still follow my original intentions and stick with something again. i guess i'll see how when the time comes.. anyway, i hope that i will get another chance to go back for another visit to see my students. after the visit, i think i am energised mentally enough to continue be a tree which people can depend on, not one that can be easily swayed by wind. separate emotions from work, this is also something which i have to learn in order for me not to feel so painful. i will mature. i believe i can survive. (: