i love doing things alone, away from e crowd, lidat can i concentrate and do properly. duno why but i hate being part of e action these few days. if i am anti-social, let me be. thx.

This is just some thoughts and feelings after doing Rag for quite some time. I think a lot of you will most probably share this with me. People who are willing to come down and do Rag voluntarily and then always make it back on a regular basis are rare. I would say they are treasures, hard to find but worth damn lot. They are people who will make damn good friends, companions, project mates and group mates (mostly la, hoh?) I am glad and fortunate to be surrounded by such people. :)

I seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think it is a good sign isn't it, I just realise there is not much times whereby I reali blog about happy things about e FOPs which I am nearly 24/7 part of. I guess a lot of times e unhappy incidents overwhelm and overpower e happy ones. But I think that I am reali very fortunate alr. I have a strong emotional support from my friends and ppl ard me at times. It may not always be there but I can feel its presence nevertheless so I shouldn't expect so much and be thankful of what I have. I am happy when I eat good food with a large grp of ppl tt feels lk family to me, I am happy when people do little things like buy things which I like for me to motivate me on, I am happy when people are concerned about how I am coping with things, I am happy when people try their best to help me out even if they may not be obligated to, I am happy when I do things I like. I think I am happy a lot of times too. (:

somehow or rather, tearing seems to get to me qt often these days... i hav no idea y also, mayb there's too much things gg on alr, too much for me to handle? i duno. 1 ting tt i came to realise during tis trying period, nvr put others in front of u always as in e end, u're still supposed to b living for urself. dun help and help and help in e end ownself cui others wont pity u but will only say it's ur own choice to do tt thus serve ownself rite. tis 1 impt lesson which i learn and will def keep it in my mind.

have u ever fought a lonely battle before? have u ever felt how it is like having to accomplish sth on ur own when u supposedly shld have others helping u out? have u ever felt so lonely u just want to die? haha, i have, a lot of times. but today seems to be the worst time that i can ever experience before. when ppl tt u thot u cld rely on disappears, leaving u bhind one by one.. tt feeling sucks.. sometimes, good does not begget(is it spelt lk this?) good. sometimes, putting aside all things to stand by someone else may not result in tt person doing e same for u. nvr expect things frm others, reali, e disappointment sometimes jus gets too overwhelming. i'm jus a human afterall, i have my weak side and moments, i duno how many more times will i be able to stop myself from doing foolish things to myself. this is reali a trying period for me.. i'm struggling to cope alr. i wont stop trying unless i'm dead. hahaha...

haha, i promised a more detailed entry on Arts Camp so here it is~! Arts Camp 2007 is reali jus like it's theme for tis yr: FASS FORWARD! omg lah, e whole camp literally just flew past me without stopping long enough for me to realise it's passing. I feel reali fortunate to be able to be part of the ocomm for this yr's Arts camp 2007, somehow it feels like family in e ocomm even though there may be times when we feel frustrated at and irritated with one another. But i guess that's how families are ya? can't be everyday happy, sweet & blissful rite? there will definitely be times whereby unhappiness arise, misunderstandings and miscommunication occur. however at the end, everyone comes together and all hatchets are buried. ;)

during this Arts Camp period, i learn a lot of things about myself and my personality and how human i actually am. i saw it clearly how impossible it is for me to take eth upon my shoulders to do & how important it is for me to delegate jobs out to ppl. i also realise how weak i actually am, not being able to perform well when slp very little. i also saw for myself how last minute can harm a lot of things. lastly which is e most impt is that contigency planning & decision making on e spot can turn e situation ard totally.

initially thought that i can blog a lot about the camp but i guess all those that were experienced can never be described in words. thus now cannot continue blogging about it anymore, i tink only those who've been thru it will reali know for themselves how it actually feels rite? if u wan to experience it for urself, join e ocomm of a FOP, i believe u'll get to go through wat we did and will at e end feel e way tt we did. ;)