Fell sick. Feeling tired all the time. Doesnt help much when you fell down the stairs somemore. Suddenly everything becomes too much to handle. A lot of times, I should not be doing some things but I am doing so at the expense of my rest and studies. I know this is really stupid of me, but sometimes I just cannot bear to let go and see things left undone or unchanged. I am hating myself because of this. Hating myself for not being able to manage time for effectively. Hating myself for not taking care of myself enough. Hating myself for making so many decisions which I am living to feel its repercussions. Hating myself for not being able to speak up more. Hating myself for not being able to be a good leader and motivator. Hating myself for feeling so tired that even smile becomes hard. Hating myself for not being able to make people choose another way instead of taking the easy way out. I feel very helpless a lot of times, so much that I want to escape. I need a break, I seriously do, I need the mid-sem break to come asap.

Sometimes, things can be done easily, haphazardly and last-minute-ly. This may be the easy way out but it is definitely not the only way out and there will be consequences to bear! A lot of times, we really need to have the bigger picture in mind. Instead of keep on going back to the same few people for the same few things, why not just make a little more effort in getting new people? Is it really that hard? Taxing the same few people during the term projects and FOP period we shall have a taste of our own medicine. Have been keeping this in my heart for a very long time. But recently seeing so many things happening, I really cannot take it anymore. Are Year 1s having more academic responsibilities and stress than Year 2s? I do not think so. Are Year 1s all more busier than Year 2s? I do not think so either. Sometimes, people help because they are being asked upon. And when they agree people keep going back to them. Seriously, I am sick and tired of seeing the same thing happen again and again. I feel like shouting it out but I guess the only place where I can do so is here. I cannot come across as too naggy. Hahaha. Feeling so much better now after saying it out. ^-^