Hahaha, feeling super duper high after today man! Suddenly feel that I am actually rather smart oh!!! :P After numerous previous failed attempts at solving I-game, I finally managed to solve it for the ever 1st time in my life!!! Muahaha, wheee!!! Was totally stunned the moment when I put the last piece in and saw that it fits! Wah, seriously, for a while I thought I was dreaming man. Haha. Then after that it was 1 round after another until I have completed the thing for 6 times by the end of today. Haha, crazy one right? But it feels really therapeutic as you focus all your attention in getting everything inside, and then feels really shiok as you see your final solution to the game laid out beautifully before you! Haha, if you have not tried it, give it a try at the clubroom. :P If you have yet to succeed, do not give up as even I (always said to be slow and blur) can complete it after not giving up!!! Some pictures to show that I really complete it!!! ^-^

My 2nd solution after finishing more than half of the Bee Bee snack!!! Another round of disbelief and high-ness! :P



My 3rd solution that came even before I had time to eat any Bee Bee. :P Was intending to do just 3 and take with the different stages of Bee Bee snack but have not finished Bee Bee thus took a picture in case I did not manage to do it one more time then got picture and can play cheat to take the last picture with empty Bee Bee container.



The 4th one took a super duper long time before I managed to solve it. Regret not stopping at the 3rd then concentrate on finishing Bee Bee instead for moments during solving loh. :P Eventually got it done and took the picture!!! :)))



This one was done right after a sumptous dinner at MEGAbites with Kai Wai, Eve, Mich, Josh, Edward, Bing and Jeremy! If you have not tried the western food there, you should! Especially the Cabonara which we did not manage to taste until now after going there twice already. Bleah.

Jeremy, this picture is for you! The last solution of the day! Did it because of Jeremy as he did not manage to do it loh. :P

Was studying today but just cannot help but recall how reading week and the examination weeks were for my year 1 semester 1. Up til now, it is the semester that I was the most hardworking, most consistent, most persistent and most fruitful in my revision. Taking break only during meal times together with the study gang in old clubroom or going back KE7 hall to bath, walking around only to go toilet or refill water bottles, and sleeping only 6 hours or less everyday. Otherwise it is just studying, studying and more studying.

Needless to say, there were times whereby random jokes were being cracked and the guys taking more breaks to play games or watch youtube videos etc. I guess it really helps when you have a senior who is focused, knows that she really wants to study and not do anything else. Seeing Jasmine mug motivates, and sort of stresses you to follow suit. Also, the year 1s being year 1s having our ever 1st exams in NUS, we will be very gan chiong and are most of the time doing our revision studiously. Of course, knowing that you have not been catching up on your academic work pushes you on to chop chop do as much revision as possible. The study mood and atmosphere was there. Sort of miss those times... Thankfully this semester there is Kai Wei to study with me!!! :))) It always feels so much better when another person is studying together beside you for the exams. Everyone continue to jia you oh! Most of you halfway there already! It will be over pretty handsome (:P) soon!!

Went back Yishun supposedly to go for my weekly accupuncture treatment but realised that I was so blur that I forgot to book my appointment for this week. Well, at least I managed to give my hair a good shampoo from my trip back, something to be happy about despite the wasted trip? Feel like pinching myself at times to stop being so blur and absent-minded loh. :P

Anyway, as I was on my way back, throughout the whole journey from Clementi to Yishun I was surrounded by the morning rush crowd. People of different genders, different age groups and different races all rushing with their fast-paced footsteps and rather straight emotionless face to get to their workplace. It has been quite a while since I witnessed the morning crowd and as I looked upon the people, I begin to think: will I be one of those people rushing about in a few year's time?

Now, all of us are paper chasing so as to secure a so-called bright future for the rest of our lives. Or at least get a good headstart such that it will not be so hard to live a comfortable life in Singapore. Then as we go out to the society to work, we begin other chases; money chase, car chase, apartment chase, position chase, promotion chase... it seems to be never-ending. I think it may be the quarter life crisis as Remmy calls it. But I really cannot help but wonder is this really the type of life that I want in the future, to lose myself amidst all the chase for a so-called better life. What do I want out of my life in the near future? What is a good life if the heart is filled with emptiness due to all the mindless chase instead of enjoying our finite period of life while it lasts? Haha, something to think about when tired of staring at your notes? :P Random ramblings~

By the way, do not ever ever ever try the Indonesian style avocardo drink at PGP food court!!! especially if you have tasted the heavenly one from Alexandra food centre before. It is like one in heaven the other in hell loh. Bleah to the max! Unless you tell me you like the feeling of a strong bitter after taste in your mouth for around 1 hour, then you can go try it for as many times as you like loh. Completely spoil my Aston dinner, sianz.

As per mentioned in the last post, time really passes so fast you wont be able to register it even! Haha, like today is already Sunday, the end of reading week!!! Oh gosh, suddenly feel the need to slightly hurry the revision that I have been doing lest I do not get to finish whatever that I have to complete: lecture notes, readings, tutorial notes plus coursepack, for 4 solid examinable modules. Woohoo, so exciting man!



Studying in school on Sunday makes you feel like the weekend is totally non-existent in your life. But, crisis time calls for extreme measures, if do not study on Sunday, not enough time to finish mugging everything there is to the module then can happily say happy new year and sayonara to that module liao. :P Anyway, NUS on Sunday is totally not friendly to hungry students loh. There is like not much place to eat with all the respective canteens closed for the week. Therefore only left with MacDonalds, Subway or Fong Seng. So pathetic right? Of course if you want there is always the cup noodles from Cheers or 7-11 but that is not the point. Hai, I guess having 3 places to choose from is better than none and only left 1 more weekends until the end of exams! Hang in there ba~ ^-^

Today is the 1st day whereby people start having their final examinations for the semester 2007/2008 officially!!! It is the same as per usual in school during reading week except that you start seeing more people dressed in more appropriate and proper attire sitting along the benches at AS1/AS6 walkway 10-15 minutes before 9am, 1pm and 5pm. That is when the realisation that examinations have started officially hit you right smack in the face man.

As per consensus by the BLK ADM 3rd floor mugging gang, reading week flew past us like nobody's business. Scary mary, not much time left to mug already! I am really thankful for my examination timetable for my 4 examinable modules this semester. Did not specially plan for it this way but nevertheless glad it turned out to be the way it is. I am starting on the 3rd, having papers on the 5th, 7th and lastly 8th. I know that I am lucky to have more time integrated into my reading week to study. And it does motivates you on when you study with people who have papers much earlier as you will feel their stress and will mug hard along with them.

Somehow or rather, even though during the semester academic wise was very cui, ponning lectures, going tutorials unprepared, throwing readings one side totally, rushing assignments & term papers super last-minutely... I am glad now I have the control and power to try to make it better by chionging revision continuously. :))) Everyone jiayou ok? It'll be over soon!!! Look forward to the long break!!! Use it as a bait to dangle in front of you to move on along! ;) Good luck for everyone's paper!

Haha, today is a very very very happy day because of a super duper nice and warm and delicious breakfast together with my dear breakfast buddy Evelyn!!! Muahaha, oh man, this is so so so good a recommendation I am going to make! :P For those who are thinking of trying it, go ahead! For those who do not have the intention to, just go and have it for breakfast one day, wont regret de! :))) But make sure that you eat everything together every mouthful so that the sweetness and salty-ness can mix well in your mouth, yummy gummy wheee!!!

The one thing that I like about mugging during reading week is that I finally get the time to consolidate my lecture notes, readings and tutorial notes all into one masterpiece to be used during final round of revision for the papers during the final examinations.

I do not deny that it can get rather irritating and trying just to put everything together from all over the place. However, looking at the end product after a day or days of persistence and hard work, there is only 1 word to describe the feeling: SHIOK!

Today during mugging at 3rd floor, Michelle, Kai Wei, Bing De and me had a new black friend (aka Bing De's BF) studying with us. Super random and super weird. A few hours of sitting on the bench turned out to be for the whole day. Haha, hopefully he finds another place to study for tomorrow! :P

Was talking about printing in central library when doing revision today. I think especially with the examinations just around the corner, everyone is busy printing their lecture notes, revision notes and even readings that they have not managed to print out to read during term time. As a result, you will always see a long queue at the central library print station there.

With not much time to waste as you are tight on your revision schedule, having to wait for a super long time for your print job to be done by 1 of the 3 printers is definitely not something to be welcomed at all. Just some things which you can take note to save some time and to save yourself from getting highly irritated or frustrated from waiting just because of a wrong move. ;)

1. Queue up! Haha, like duh. :P
2. While queuing up, squint at the screen which shows the amount of print jobs for each printer then aga aga aim for the printer which has the least files. Important thing to take note: watch out for PDF files, they take super long to load and print!!!
3. When it is your turn to process the print jobs, quick quick slot your cashcard swiftly into the slot and select whatever you need to print.
4. Before you select the printer, watch the status of each of the printers, do not be deceived by the colours. Green is the best as it means no job, if not yellow which means low. Do not choose yellow over green! I did that before, low print job does not beat zero print job! ;)
5. Another thing to see before you click on the printer, look at the size of the documents which each printer has to print. Courtesy of Michelle, there will be a line in small print that reads the details. KB smaller than MB ya? do not blur blur go think the other way then you can have a fun time waiting liao.
   

Yep yep, I have come to the end of the 1st and last lecture for PR1101E, hope we do not need to wait for uneccessarily long time while printing in central library anymore! ^0^

Hey peeps, I got some links to share with you guys. If bored or stressed during exam revision can take a look at them!!! ;)



Something amazing and cool (courtesy of NM2209 forum):
http://improveverywhere.com/2008/01/31/frozen-grand-central/


Something inspiring to keep you going on (courtesy of Samuel):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trplwjVwt7g


Something funny to laugh aloud before continuing with mugging (courtesy of Kai Wei):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz7Xeg2dgVw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyAwvSRfIC0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2R2IjmF4yE&feature=related



By the way, happy Earth Day everyone! :)))

As the mugging season hits us this semester, the clubroom is once again being occupied by the same few people who will be staying over, if not until late night, to mug for the final examinations that will be coming in around 1 week's time. Seeing every single room and space in the clubroom occupied by someone to start revising for their modules, it is rather heart warming in the sense that everyone is studying together to get good grades. The encouragements here and there plus the random break times where some of us come together to destress after mugging, these are the things that I really love about mugging in clubroom together with friends.

This is one reason why I cannot stand it when the clubroom is not in a condition for people to mug optimally. I will just do what I can (like rearranging stuff into the storage room this morning) to make the clubroom a better study area. Everyone must jia you and take care while mugging oh! Let us cheer one another on through this trying period!!! :)))

for me to pull my CAP up to the level where i just reach second upper honours, i need a CAP of 4.5... considering that i am going to s/u my universe breadth module, i only have 16MCs to play around with. looking at my modules now, just hope that I can get the 2As and 2B+s as per pre-empted... i cannot allow for any more drop, not even 0.01, mug hard Xin Yu!!!

覆水难收。说过的话没有办法再吞回去。撕破的脸皮没有办法缝回。打破的镜子就算补回也会有裂痕。跌破的杯子就算黏回也无法用来盛水。很多事情发生了我真的没有办法当作没有发生过，说我死心眼也好，说我看不开、放不下也好，我就算尝试也没辙，只觉得自己很虚伪罢了。

Today is the last day of the semester for all of us officially, and for some of the people around us, it is even the last day of their official tetiary education already. For me, if I pass my modules (i wont be so unlucky right? :P), today is the last day of my 2nd year in NUS. Time really pass super duper fast!!! With the blinking of an eye, 4 semesters of tetiary education has already passed for me. Even the 2 years in junior college did not seem to pass by so quickly! It is flying past so rapidly that it gets rather daunting at times.

Anyway, as I was saying, this may be the last day for a lot of people. Furthermore there is going to be quite a portion of people going on SEP in the coming semester. Followed by myself in the coming semester and then there will be friends from my batch filing for graduation already!!! Oh my goodnes.. just the thought of it is really depressing. There is really not much time left whereby we can hang out with our friends in canteen eating meals, at clubroom talking nonsense, inside lecture theatres laughing at weird lecturers, along walkways complaining to one another about modules and lousy group mates... Even though it may be tough being students at times, I believe life will only get tougher when we have to go out to the society to work... Treasure the times, whatever duration that is still left. Life may have regrets once in a while but we can do whatever we have to keep the regrets at a minimum right? :)

Argh... I have been sneezing so so so much that I feel like my nose can just drop off from my face at any time if I do not watch the way I sneeze and overdo it accidentally. :( It has been quite some time since this stupid sneezing madness last happened. Normally it happens when I go to a very dusty environment but for this time round I have totally no idea what is the thing that sparked everything off. Just know that feeling super terrible having the sneezing disrupting me from typing my 5000 word chinese essay and studying for my universe test that is tomorrow! Plus the shagged feeling that is getting stronger and stronger with every sneeze and reddening eyes that is totally not helping the situation, the night ahead seems a long one.

Someone must be scolding/ cursing me. just joking :P

Even though I have 2 deadlines and 1 test coming up this week, somehow I still want to take things one at a time, not neglecting sleep, meals or exercise. Haha, as the stress builds up, I am surprisingly still sane and not yet as crazy or frantic as I thought I will be. Is this a good or bad thing? I also do not know already. I guess I will know soon when the deadlines plus test are just around the corner. With meetings and outings lined up within this week, I am wondering just where my breaking point will be.

But anyway, feeling nice to live the life of a student after such a long time. It is really super duper satisfying as I mark on the front pages of 1 stack after 1 stack of readings as DONE! Though there are the sponsors and post-event issues that I also have to somehow or rather find time to settle within this week, for once I find myself able to pull myself away from those responsibilities and do some justice to my academic work first. Just hope this optimism and enthusiasm of mine last until the end of week man. Everyone jiayou oh! Smile lots too!!! :)))

realised my most recent post is raising a bit of concern among my friends, just want to say i need to vent it out and am feeling so much better right now. and if any of you really wants to know who the person is, just ask me please, do not anyhow guess ya? :) Thanks. ^-^

i was hurt today once again by you. and i can only say serve myself right for naively thinking that you are back to your normal self after the project ended. i can only have myself to blame for allowing myself to be hurt by you again after the last incident. i was foolish enough to think that our friendship has rekindled thus putting you back to the place in my heart, giving you the opportunity to stab me right there. i was stupid enough to feel that i will have more importance to you as a person, as a friend, as compared to dead objects and a non-living project. how wrong can i be... i thought that you have changed for the better after such a long time. i thought that incidents of similar nature will never ever happen again between us. haha.. i thought wrong.. i will never ever be able to see you as a friend anymore, the most as an aquaintance. i do not think that i will be able to make myself work together with you in the project anymore, i will try my best to stay away from your area of control from now on.. i am amazed at how i managed to survive under you last time, haha, i think the ample training i got from home must have helped. good bye my friend, thanks for making me see the real side of you, and for putting out any light of hope that things will go back to where it used to be. our friendship is dead and gone... may you live on happily and healthily.

today morning went together with my youngest brother to join my mum and her friend in a trek at the MacRitchie Nature Reserve. it has been years since i last visited and walked around in the area. i still remember in secondary school when i will have to go there every year for our school's jogathon event. when i went there today, it really have changed a lot, and for the better.

it was a long trek as we go around the whole nature trial, if i am not wrong all in all we walked around 8km!!! and for a whole 3 hrs man! haha, reminded me so so so much of ROP. :P we went to the HSBC treetop walk! haha, it was my 1st time being there and i totally love the short 10 minutes walk from 1 end to the other. at 1st it seems quite daunting to be walking on a slightly shaking bridge that is suspended in the air above the canopy with only support from a few cables. but after a while, i started taking in all i could of the wonderful scenery that is beautifully displayed in front of my eyes. the feeling is so surreal and so amazing!!! if you have not been there before, try it at least once! if you are a nature lover, you will definitely love it to the max!!!

after that we continue walking and reached the jelutong tower. even though my brother and i were quite shagged by that time, we still could not resist the temptation to go up the tower to look at the scenary (for my brother also to ka chiao the monkeys :P). and so with our aching legs, we climbed up the tower and we certainly did not regret it. from the top of the tower, we could catch a bird's eye view of the whole nature reserve and my oh my, it is really breath-taking!!! haha, really enjoyed myself a lot. thankful that i promised my mum to accompany her even though some unhappiness resulted with my dad from my promise. being able to spend such a fulfilling time with mother nature made me feel revitalised. will certainly try to make it a habit to go trekking in the woods more often when i have more time to myself. :) looking for something to do with your loved ones? i will recommend a walk in the nature reserve. ;)

It feels so much better when you start to have more control over your own life. When you are self-disciplined enough and feel that can afford to take more care of yourself and your health. Being able to exercise for quite a few times this week somehow makes me feel better mentally and also allows me to finally start working on school work which has been left to gather dust for the whole initial part of this ending semester. Just realise how backward I am in turns of my school work... Have to chiong already! Either now or never, I definitely cannot allow for my CAP to drop any further, if possible I must pull it back to where it was and where I want it to be and stay there til I graduate. Everyone jiayou! Hold in there and we shall be able to taste the sweetness of the long holidays soon!!! :)

I think I am starting to like one of my modules, haha, a bit late as the semester is coming to an end but as the saying goes: "Better late than never." I had the last tutorial for this module today, together with Min Joo and Xiu Wen. It has a round of going to everyone in the class to share about the topics which they are intending to write for their term paper. And there were also some discussions on some issues that some of us brought up.

I will be making full use of my experience as a marketing personnel in Food Hunt 2008 in this term paper as I talk about how you speak in Chinese to some vendors and English to other vendors. This is an interesting trend that a few of us have come to realise. I think most of us have come to experience it somehow or rather in our daily lifestyle also. For example, most of the stall owners that are around 30-40 years old or older, they will tend to speak more in Chinese. especially so if they sell in food centres or kopitiams.

whereas for the stall owners that are closer to our age, especially for those that do business in restaurants or cafes, they will tend to converse more in English. also as a marketing person, speaking to them in the language that they speak more often brings us closer and allow things to work out better.

but even so, it comes to a point where you will realise those whom you speak to in Chinese tends to be more friendly, approachable, helpful and agreeable. whereas for those that you speak to in English tends to be more official, distant and less willing. i am speaking from a general sense, of course there is adnormally. :)

there are also topics like how certain chinese radio stations' DJ talk in pure chinese whereas some will mix which Min Joo is doing and also how Chinese will come up with English names for themselves and not the other way round which Xiu Wen is doing. haha, simply love the times when the three of us come together and discuss the topics. sharing our own personal experiences which makes the whole discussion more enjoyable. :) Kudos to Catherine, Cindy & Anna! *winks*

How does it feel to see your efforts dropped onto the floor and people turned a blind eye to it? Or see your efforts thrown around and be trampled upon even?

Trust me, it sucks.

not trying hard enough, before you use it on anyone, reflect upon yourself.

give up trying is the easy way out, but it should never be looked as the way out.

roles & responsibilities are there for a reason, no matter what happens, it should not be compromised right?

Finally, the last outdoor event of the club is over. As per usual, this is the 2nd time experiencing the project, and from being a helper evolved to being an ocomm member. Working under a different PD, different ocomm with different dynamics, the feeling is different once again. Whether I like it or not, prefer it or not, it doesnt really matter. Just hope that things can be improved upon next year to make all our events even more successful than it already were. I guess we have built for ourselves a reputation among the events that we have organised. From now on, it is only building on what that has already been done and make everything even more successful. :)))

sian diao. when efforts are not treated with due respect. when not enough preparations and plannings are being made. when things are taken for granted. when people are not given proper appreciation. when again and again e feeling of "cheap-ness" overwhelms.

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Enough of trying to think of things from all your perspectives.

Only lessons learnt the hard way are the ones that will really stay in the head and be reflected properly upon with ample thoughts and considerations.

Sorry seems the hardest word to say, you have to put down your pride and admit your mistakes. Shifting the blame away from oneself saves your pride but you will lose your respect in other people. Which is worse? You make the decision and then you live with the consequences.

The society is harsh and reality is cruel many a times. Learn fast and soon lest risk getting hurt in more ways than one when circumstances happen and things don't go your way which is more than often the case. Time to grow up and stand on your own feet, enough of baby-sitting, enough of tolerating, enough of accomodating...

It feels very sucky when people who have never go through things before talk until like they have. Things are never easy to be done, it always requires effort. And the thing about this world is that your efforts do not necessarily equate to the equivalent results. I have come to realise more and more often that it is not the intention but rather the results that people can see which will really have an impact. I guess this is how society works and how people are being judged upon. Rather sad to put it across as that but nevertheless facts of life which we have to come to terms sooner or later.

Anyway, thanks lots to Zhimin for accompanying me go down all the way to collect sponsored goods! Boy boy really very filial wo!!! ;) Also thanks Guan Jie for being so kind as to drive us back to school even though he was no reason to go school at all. Save me my orginally planned cab fare!!! yea yea yea~! :))) Less than 1 week and a lot of things will more or less come to an end. Looking forward to being a full-time student, please let it come soon.

Really love those times when I get to take slow and long showers. The feeling that I have all the time in the world to myself and need not think about any other thing except to enjoy the shower. I can slowly shampoo and condition my hair, massaging my scalp and enjoying the relaxing sensation running through my whole body. After everything then let the water run through the hair to wash everything off which is the best part! Haha, it is really sheer joy to just stand below the showerhead and feel the lukewarm water running through your hair continuously. If I can stand there infinitely, I think I will. Sometimes, it is really the small little things that can make your life more enjoyable and happier. :)))

somehow or rather, people just seemed to disappoint me one after another these few days. i'm not trying to say that they should not disappoint me, neither am i saying that i never disappoint people before as it is impossible. however, what i am trying to say is that it hurts especially when the people happen to be the ones you have chosen to put close to the heart already.

ya, i do understand that sometimes people do not really mean what they say at certain points of time. as someone who has been thru more, i shld know that things are bound to be like that and be graceful in accepting whatever that comes my way, not holding it to heart. but it still has an impact, i am not an unfeeling object that can be thrown or pushed about as and when one wants. i want to be nice to myself, but at the same time i want even more to be nice to the people around me who has come to matter a lot to me. why is it so hard to reconcile these two? why is it either this or that so many times? just rambling. i need this outlet to keep me sane.

Haha, know that this is a bit late but better late than never! Yea man, Food Hunt 2008 is over! And it is a rocking great success! Really thanks lots to Applie for inviting me to join her and many others on this wonderful and memorable journey. Pity to say that there were still imperfections and minor screwups here and there, and quite a few times due to oversight on my part... Argh... I know I should not be too much of a perfectionist but I just cannot help but scold myself for not being more careful, not being more detailed and not having more foresight. Sigh..

Anyway, I managed to be a facilitator again this year! Even though it is not meant to be like that initially, I was glad to be able to be one. If not I will be less occupied throughout the day, away from the action and fun. This year my energy level not as high as last year but nevertheless enjoyed the company of my team. Haha, thankfully I was paired with Meiyi, her boyfriend and company. Realised that as I move on to Year 2, I am starting to have more inertia with regards to taking initiative to know more people during events. If not I think I will be rather sian diao ba. ^-^

At the start of the day, I was literally prancing about as final preparations are being made before the teams set off. I really do not know why but I was super high on that day. Totally energy level is ultimate one. I was really happy that Food Hunt is here and really excited to see the whole event unfold before my very eyes. It is a feeling that I have yet to experience for a long time. Food Hunt was the first project in Arts Club which I gave in all I have, going beyond my own job scope and expectations to ensure that the event will be successful. Doing it for the second year and seeing us building on where we left from last year, making it much more big scale and successful than last year, makes me high to the max! Even though this time round there were more emotional roller coasters, it makes the journey more endearing to the heart. Thanks to the say-himself-very-slack-but-actually-not-slack DPD Admin Bing De for all the crisis management aid. :P

I think after this year, Food Hunt really has the potential to make it big. In the past, I still remember an ex-PD telling me to take note that signups may face problem, must take note of the date of the event to ensure maximum participation. But now, I think that should be the least of our worry for future Food Hunt ocomm already. We have built up a very good reputation for Food Hunt, be it programmes, stalls or vouchers for participants at the end of the event. Just pray very very very hard that there will be the someone who is willing and daring to take it up as a PD next year to continue this legacy. So long as you believe it is possible, you will be able to do it. And also, doing it not by yourself but with a team of dedicated ocomm members can make the impossible happen and allow for miracles to take place. :)))

Lastly, just want to say that no matter what we do, different people have different thinkings, different expectations, different points of view and different takes on things. Even though sometimes the process may not necessarily equates results that people may want, I believe everyone has a good intention to justify every action. It just warms my heart to see it when people do not just do things for their own project's benefits, but rather think of things in the long run, in the big picture and for other people even. It just makes the world a better and more hopeful place to live in isnt it? :)