想做的事情其实很简单，但为什么在做起来时却如此艰辛？金盆洗手，我是真的想这么做了。

Finally after being rejected as a blood donar for 2 times, I managed to donate blood in school today!!! Happy happy! :))) The 1st time was because I do not have enough iron in my blood, so I went home and obediently finish all the iron tablets so that I can donate. The 2nd time was because I was dumb enough to trust UHWC doctors that after vaccinations can go donate blood. Both times I went down to HSA, and coming out feeling super sian diao.

Today I was so so so worried I will get rejected again lah! But thankfully all went well and I have one less regret to live with when I go for exchange! Hehehe, it just makes me feel good to donate blood as I know the amount of blood can save 3 lives. Things are looking good for me as the day for exchange nears. Hope lady luck continues smiling upon me!!! ^-^ Happy CNY everyone!

有些伤口，经过长时间，你认为本应该痊愈了。但是有时不小心触碰到，仍然会刺痛心扉，难受不已。已经不想回忆，因为会辛苦、会痛苦。以为自己放下了，事实却是相反的。我怕了，真的害怕了。请上天大发慈悲，别再让我经历同样的事情，我就谢天谢地了。

This year, it feels different during this festive season. First thing is the atmosphere along the streets throughout the 2 days of public holidays. It is really quite quiet and lifeless, not like the celebration of a lunar new year. I guess it is the bad economy situation hitting everyone already.

Personally, it was different also. For the first time since I was born, not the whole family went around house-visiting together... My brother left with girlfriend to Malaysia where her family is, thus a family of 5 became 4. Then there was my father working for almost the whole day on both days, and my mother working almost the whole day on the second day. It just feels very weird.

And so for the first time in my life, I had to represent my parents to go house-visiting. I am in charge as I bring my youngest brother around Singapore to all the relative's house. I have to plan where to go and in what sequence. I have to call and check if there's someone home, and I have to figure out how to make it there on my own as my brother has little sense of direction. It is both empowering and depressing at the same time. But it feels really good to talk to the elders.

I suddenly realised that things are no longer to be the same as time passes. I am no longer the young girl who tagged along with parents to go house-visiting. I cannot solely rely on my parents in everything already. I have to learn to step up and take charge at times. I must be able to take over the responsibility of my whole family. I can no longer think of just myself in everything I do, they will come into the picture increasingly as I grow older. I have been taking too much things for granted. It is not going to be easy, growing up never is. Time to grow up, seriously.

It was sometime ago when I told myself I will leave quietly for exchange without anyone knowing or sending me off. After I have reached my destination safely then I will notify my friends I am gone. This is because I have sent friends off for exchange before and I do not want to trouble people to travel all the way there just because I am going on exchange. I also do not want to cry on my way to board the airplane loh...

But, there are some things which some friends said that struck me to have a change in mind. I cannot decide for my friends, I cannot do things the way I want just because I think it is the best when it concerns other people more. So I started working towards the direction of getting the best and most convenient flight for my SEP, and I will post the details of my departure where my friends can see it. However, if got something on and cannot come send, just go ahead with your stuff ya? It is the thought that counts!!!

I will be taking SQ 810 at Terminal 3 on 8th February 2009 (Sunday). My flight takes off at 4.55pm so I should be at the airport from 3pm onwards or earlier. :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I have finally passed my driving tests after don't know how many attempts (actually is don't want to say :P) today! So so so so so happy! I can finally drive around legally and with much confidence too! I can finally leave Singapore for Beijing with a lighter and happier heart! I can satisfy my dream of driving my family around too! So shiok! Happy happy happy~ I think the happiness can last me until the day I have to go PKU for exchange. :)))

It feels really heart-warming when you see the successors being enthusiastic about something which you have done before. When you can see the passion you feel in their very own eyes, when you know that you can leave the project in their hands without any worry; that is a wonderful feeling. After today, I can let go even more~ :)

Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself. --- William Faulkner

The indispensable first step to getting things you want out of life is this; Decide what you want. --- Ben Stein, actor and author

If you keep believing what you've been believing, you'll keep achieving what you've been achieving. --- Annonymous

You are either the captive or the captain of your thoughts. --- Denis Waitley

What we think or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. --- John Ruskin

Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence ... Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. --- Calvin Coolidge, thirtieth president of the United States

We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves. --- Orison Swett Marden

We don't have eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here. --- Susan Taylor

Happiness depends upon ourselves. --- Aristotle

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. --- Hellen Keller

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of the secrets of success is to refuse to let temporary setbacks defeat us. --- Mary Kay

在现今这个世界上，是非对错根本没有绝对，黑白分明更是痴心妄想。好的坚持不简单，尤其在面对流言蜚语之下，不过我就是有那么一点的小固执去做自己相信的事情。是好是坏，是对是错，只要经过理性分析后对得起自己就足够了吧。我能做的，我会一个人尽量做到。

p.s. thank you camy & remmy for staying over at changi airport with me the whole of last night!!! if not i would have been alone... :)

I do not know about other people, but I really treasure the times when someone actually have heart to heart talk with me. I find it a great blessing when people trust you enough to talk more than weather and other frivalous stuff, to share with you their thoughts, feelings, weaknesses and failures without any hiding. It never fails to make me feel wonderful when I managed to have a HTHT session with someone. It feels even better when it is a HTHT session with someone whom you never really talked to before, or have not HTHT for a long time.

Of course, there is the down side to everything that I classify as up side. Must neutralise mah. :P As time passes, there are some people who gradually moved away from you and no longer HTHT with you as they used to be. It hurts. But it is life, everyone moves on, nobody will stay on the same spot forever. Just treasure as much as possible the people who will bother to HTHT with me ba! :)

It is never easy to admit failure, especially in things and areas which you have tried very hard to make it a success. It is hard. But I have to admit, I really failed terribly. True that there were a lot that were not within my control, the fact that I did not try harder was still my fault. The other fact that I did not do the right things at the right time was also wrong of me.

What has been done is already in the past, I can only do what I can to try and rectify the situation now. Once again, a lot of things not within my control but I will still do all that I can. Even if I am not given much opportunities to, I will still try my best. I just want things to turn out better. :)

Had a great dinner today, laughed a lot since don't know how long ago once again. Really enjoyed the company I had, can put no words down as to why but I just did. Know that a lot of fellow 27th going for Arts Club Chalet, do not know why but I just feel very happy upon registering that in my head.

There are certain people whom I really treasure closely to my heart, even though this feeling may not be mutual at times, I can convince myself it's worth it. However there will be times when I think if I should utilise my time, energy & thoughts on people who treasure me closely to their hearts too. But in the end, I realised it's hard as I am most of the time too emotional & irrational in this aspect, I cannot figure it out clearly. Life's so short & unpredictable, there's only so many people you can constantly keep in touch & care for, treasure as many as you can I guess? I want to leave for SEP with lesser regrets.

Hello hello! I'm finally back in Singapore after spending the past 22 days in China. I do not think that I will be blogging much about the trip as everything has been written on the very pretty notebook which Xiu Wen, Min Joo & Sandra bought for me for this YEP. If really want to know how was my trip can meet up for lunch & I can talk about it then! ;) It feels a bit weird to be typing away at the keyboard after such a long time & I keep typing wrongly & slowly!!! :P

Anyway, just want to say it really feels good to be back home. Throughout the whole trip there were many issues encircling in my head & I really thought deeply a lot. There were good things & bad things, happy & sad also. :) Just want to say it once again amazes me how I can click so easily & be at ease with some people, but be detached & uncomfortable with some people. It is something that I feel is hard to explain, hard to figure out... Nevertheless an eye-opening experience. Everyone reading: Happy 2009! May the year ahead be a great & fulfilling one!!! ^-^