This year, it feels different during this festive season. First thing is the atmosphere along the streets throughout the 2 days of public holidays. It is really quite quiet and lifeless, not like the celebration of a lunar new year. I guess it is the bad economy situation hitting everyone already.

Personally, it was different also. For the first time since I was born, not the whole family went around house-visiting together... My brother left with girlfriend to Malaysia where her family is, thus a family of 5 became 4. Then there was my father working for almost the whole day on both days, and my mother working almost the whole day on the second day. It just feels very weird.

And so for the first time in my life, I had to represent my parents to go house-visiting. I am in charge as I bring my youngest brother around Singapore to all the relative's house. I have to plan where to go and in what sequence. I have to call and check if there's someone home, and I have to figure out how to make it there on my own as my brother has little sense of direction. It is both empowering and depressing at the same time. But it feels really good to talk to the elders.

I suddenly realised that things are no longer to be the same as time passes. I am no longer the young girl who tagged along with parents to go house-visiting. I cannot solely rely on my parents in everything already. I have to learn to step up and take charge at times. I must be able to take over the responsibility of my whole family. I can no longer think of just myself in everything I do, they will come into the picture increasingly as I grow older. I have been taking too much things for granted. It is not going to be easy, growing up never is. Time to grow up, seriously.