In life, there are alot of things which we cannot change as we are born into it. You cannot change your parents, you cannot change your race, you cannot change your genetic compositions and any thing else besides should by right be susceptible to changes.

However, these personal characteristics and family background which you have somehow makes changes for other aspects of your life harder. Yes, I know it is not impossible to make changes in your life, to improve and make things better. But, there is just so much inertia, so many different factors, and not forgetting all the bits and pieces from everywhere and anywhere which will just hinder your process of changing.

I may be just giving myself excuses by saying things have been always like that, there are some things and some people who just do not change no matter what, I already did all I could before so I give up trying when it failed. Yes, I do not deny my state of denial and my escapist mentality. I also want positive changes, I also want things to be better, I also want to do my part in making lives of people who matter alot to me to improve with time. But there are just so many a times I feel really tired trying, I do not know when I can stop trying and it is super draining as I am not that strong a person.

Despite all the talk above, and no matter how much I feel like giving it all up, somehow I would not as I have people whom I really respect and love motivating me on. And most importantly, I am too controlled and ruled by obligations, responsibilities and social norm to do anything drastically negative to myself even when they going gets damn tough. I will try, I may fail and fall, I shall just pick myself up and continue trying. If all else fails, at least I tried my best. Even if it is not the most important thing, at least I can answer to my own conscience isn't it? Random ramblings...