Sunday, February 06, 2011
This year is really one when I have to face a lot of changes and adapt accordingly. I want to accept and adjust accordingly but it seems that is not as easy as I thought. Or rather my emotional side is sort of rejecting them by engulfing myself in negativity and pessimistic feelings.
Perhaps I have offended people with the way I am, or perhaps there is no more reason for people to bear with who I am. True friends accept you for what you are, and with time I can really see who are they. Sad to have the harsh fact that some appeared to be but is actually not.
I think I should stop thinking so much about the past as those are the days already gone. Letting go is a painful process but one which I am slowly undergoing at the moment. Treasure those who care or bother and not waste time on those who don't.
6:23 PM
Friday, February 04, 2011
这个新年，让我彻底体会贫富悬殊可以是一道多大的鸿沟。和一些人的碰面，也将我所有的不足之处推到了放大镜之下。如果想要改变，就要有所行动并且不能和往常一样更不能安于现状。
8:32 PM
Sunday, January 23, 2011
有些友谊让我感到压迫不已，战战兢兢提心吊胆深怕自己做错什么说错什么。
有些友谊让我感到非常舒服，甚至不会害怕做回都是缺陷的自己，轻松自在。
前者似乎越来越多，后者似乎越来越少。身上的刺是为了保护脆弱的心灵，知否？在乎否？一直为这些事情烦恼，我是真的很累了。放手，难道已经到了这个地步吗？
1:10 PM
Saturday, January 22, 2011
原来长大了，心情还是会有很糟糕的时候。原来就算自我催眠自己很好，眼泪还是会不知觉地掉下。原来经历了那么多，我还是没有办法去欣然迎接未来生活的挑战。原来，我还是那么脆弱和懦弱。
不好的思绪充斥脑袋，什么都不想做，谁都不想理。为什么这么痛苦，我真的不知道。精神病院的大门，其实并没有想象中离我那么遥远。我必须坚强，但是我又能坚持多久。我好害怕自己走上不归路，真的。
1:56 PM
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Just came back from Kuala Lumpur together with fellow log-gers, first time overseas for all four of us as a group and it totally rocked! It is really interesting and amazing how some people can just come together nicely? I am thankful, really grateful to all the groups which I have been a part of. Even more so for groups who have come to matter and be a significant part in my life.
Anyway, and so we went to KL on a short trip via the coach and stayed in a budget hotel. There were hiccups here and there, as per any other backpacking adventures. But as a whole, I had an awesome lot of fun. Felt really bad as I didn't really contribute in terms of the planning and booking, more like leeching off the others' efforts... Next time I will do more! I promise. :p
Being away from Singapore makes me appreciate what I have, and at the same time also makes me wish for things which I do not and may not ever have in my life. Visiting places of interest, wearing really any-o-how-ly and behaving foolishly because you know for the fact that no one knows who you are... those are pleasures in life which I really appreciate lots.
Shall make an effort to go on a short trip out of Singapore at least once a year, and will work towards planning one for my whole family because it has been a long time since we last traveled. I can foresee the times when we may argue over where to go and what to eat, but this is what being family is about isn't it? Hong Kong, Taiwan, Europe, Japan, Korea, China... I will come.
3:16 PM
Thursday, December 16, 2010
长大后，发觉了自己善良的一面，也发觉了自己邪恶的一面。善与恶之间，有时只是一线之差罢了。也察觉到我可以变得很可怕，意念只要不定就可以成为令自己憎恶的人。在脑海里的念头有时也会闪过有关伤害别人的，让我也不禁心寒。我不是好人，大家还是小心我为妙，哈哈哈...
我还是一个很容易心软的人，就算被伤害多深只要道歉就能让我又重新相信一些人。就算不是喜欢的人，只要让我觉得被受重视就能让我对他的印象分大增。我想，我完了...
10:32 PM
